Do you sell cigar boxes decorated with macaroni?

No. We sell digital designs created on a Macintosh. They are offered for sale in the form of high-quality giclées. That sounds like some kind of French pastry, but it’s actually a very sophisticated form of sp;inkjet printing that produces waterproof images in lightfast inks, inks that will still be vivid (not that you’ll care) a century from now. 

Because the art is digital in nature, there are no “real” paintings of which your giclée will be a reproduction. I reserve the right to sell more than one impression of any given image, but unless I do so your giclée will be the only physical version of the image—not exactly a painting, but something much more than an ordinary print.

I only have eight dollars. Can I buy one? 

No, but let's talk. I don’t list prices because, as digital images, these pictures can be printed in a variety of sizes and the prices can vary accordingly. The recommended size is the size included in the listing, but if you need something smaller (or perhaps even bigger) we can accommodate most reasonable (and many unreasonable) requests. 

Prices are sometimes negotiable, but only to the degree that is permitted by the expense of having the images printed. And please understand that, because I must pay the printer to create your giclée, I cannot accept returns. (Actually I can, but only if I get to keep the money.)

Do you add real brush strokes to your giclées, like a lot of artists do?  Or do you glaze them, like a ham?

No! My pictures are computer graphics, not fake oil paintings. If you look carefully, you'll see that most of them contain textures or effects that would be difficult (or impossible) to create in traditional media. Even my most realistic pieces have a look, on close inspection, that a brush cannot create.

I'm proud of what they are, and I never disguise them as anything else. They are not a slick substitute for old-fashioned paintings; they're a new medium entirely. They're the new art of the 21st Century, and all of the really cool people are buying them. Ham, indeed!

Your writing stirs my soul. Tell me more!

Your print will be carefully rolled and shipped in a sturdy shipping tube. This method minimizes shipping costs and greatly reduces the possibility of in-transit damage. For an additional fee I will deliver your picture personally, especially if you live in a tropical paradise and have a really comfy spare room.

But I digress. Take it to any good frame shop (or to a bad one, if you like) and they’ll be able to prepare it for presentation in your home or office. If your image prints on canvas, I will be happy to add a colored border that will wrap around the stretcher strips, making a frame unnecessary. This simple addition can save you hundreds of dollars by eliminating the need for framing, which means that you’ll be able to afford another picture. Just ask for "gallery wrapping." 

Now, then! Please explore; we are open late today. But please don't let children touch the merchandise.